Is Barbie A Stripper?


Wow!  Did my Super Bowl Party take a strange turn for the worse.  I take my 3-year-old daughter to a friend’s house for the Super Bowl.  Knowing that there would be other similarly aged girls at the party, M carefully packed her Hello Kitty backpack with some party supplies.  At the time I thought nothing of the items that had been selected.  She had a Snow White doll, a random Barbie doll, some stickers, and other miscellaneous small toys.  No big deal, right?

We had not been at the party more than a half hour and the backpack came into play.  The dolls came out and the stickers were applied throughout my friend’s house.  It was not until all the adults at the party started to gather around one of the televisions for the game when the random Barbie doll that my daughter had brought became the punch line of the party.

After a few beers and a second look at this Barbie that I had probably seen on thirty other occasions at my house, I noticed what all the other party goers were chuckling about.  My daughter’s Barbie looks like a stripper!

Let’s break down her look and you judge for yourself.  Starting from head to toe, Stripper Barbie has to be wearing hair extensions.  There is no girl who can get locks like that without the help of a weave artist.  She has the tale-tale stripper makeup job.  There is enough eye shadow on her to repaint my house.  If I only liked sparkle-blue…She is wearing a skimpy little top with sparkles that, if you tilt Barbie just right you can make out the words “I’m Easy” on her top.  Moving down to her skirt…if that’s what you want to call it.  It barely covers her ambiguously gendered bottom half.  Here’s the most stripper-ish thing of the entire ensamble…Barbie is wearing a G-String!!   Don’t even get me started on the hooker boots that she is wearing…

I don’t know whether to stuff a Monopoly dollar in her tiny g-string, or just confiscate this Barbie for my personal use.  Either way, it’s very creepy.  What is next?  Is the Pimp Ken doll on the market?  He comes with a fur coat, cane, and a felt hat.  He also has the bionic bitch slap feature and says, “bitch betta have my money?”  Or maybe it will be Strung Out Barbie.  She comes with her own heroin rig and has removable teeth and throws up when you press her tummy.  I could go on for days.

Perhaps we should take a closer look our children’s toys, or maybe we leave them as they are so that we adults have something to laugh about…

P.S. Please don’t judge me for posing Barbie in provocative positions…I sort of got carried away…

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About Generic Dad

Ex break dancing champion turned competitive eating loser. I am into prosthetic limbs, knife throwing, and I am a self-taught magician...I once fought Kimbo Slice to a draw, my belly button is known to seep gravy, which has come in handy on more than one occasion.

Posted on February 7, 2010, in Thoughts on Life and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. google “fulla barbie”

  2. Stripper Barbie was the life of the party!!! Love the way you posed her hands in the pics…

  1. Pingback: Disciple of Discipline « Generic Dad's Take On All Things Life

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