Weekend at Jerry’s Place

This past weekend was a monumental sports weekend for DFW.  On Saturday alone the metroplex hosted 5 NCAA football games as well as the Texas Rangers first home game of the 2010 ALDS playoffs.  Sunday was equally busy with game 4 of the Rangers-Rays series as well as the Cowboys playing host to the Tennessee Titans.  Needless to say, the sports-packed weekend was busy.

I was fortunate enough to attend two of these events and I fear the recovery process will be long and arduous.  We had a couple of buddies fly in from Denver, so we got Cowboys tickets for Sunday and the Denver Boys grabbed Rangers playoff tickets for Saturday.  The weekend was setting up nicely to be a festivus of tailgating, professional sports, stadium munchies, and $9 beers.

Saturday afternoon we grabbed the Denver Boys and were off to The Ballpark in Arlington for Game 3 of the Rangers-Rays ALDS playoff series.  The Rangers had taken a 2-0 lead in the series and were poised to clinch a spot in the ALCS.  This was going to be a huge scene if the Rangers could pull off a win.  The sun is beating down, we are cooking in the heat, but the beer man cometh, and he cometh often.  Unfortunately, not even the timeliness of the beer man could help the Rangers produce a victory.  So, with hopes held high that the Rangers would take the series on Sunday, we all left the stadium in fairly good spirits (thank you beer man!). 

Rather than go home, we decided to hit a sports bar near the house to catch the end of the evening college games.  Once again, multiple beers were imbibed and some bar fare consumed.  It is at this point of the evening that I should have gone home and gone to bed.  Instead, we head to a buddy’s place to keep pounding beers and end up breaking out the washer boards to teach the Denver Boys a thing or two about Texas.  After only a couple of warm-up rounds, these boys think that they can actually beat us and they want to play for money.  Silly Denver Boys…thanks for funding my day of drinking!

I roll into my house at roughly 3:00 AM knowing that I have to get up and do this all again on Sunday for the Cowboys game.  Must sleep…but what do I find in my bed?  You guessed it, M. is hogging my entire side…(https://genericdad.com/2010/02/05/the-other-woman-in-my-bed/)  I was too tired, too beer-logged, and too lazy to move her, so I crashed in her bed, which was quite comfortable actually.

Sunday morning comes quickly and harshly.  I am greeted by an angry wife and two rambunctious toddlers.  I am handed a grocery list and with M clinging to my leg, I am shuttled out the door half hungover and starving…okay, I was fully hungover…

After making it through the grocery store in record time (It’s because M drove the racecar cart), I make it back home just in time to don my Cowboys gear, slam another bottle of water and a handful of aspirin when I hear my ride honking.  Here we go again (I hurled a little in my mouth at just the thought of more tailgating).  But I am a man, and I do what any many would do…I sleep in the car all the way to the stadium…


Cowboys Stadium, Jerry World, The Death Star…we have arrived!  We decide that, in order to get our heads right with tailgating, we need to slam a quick beer at the truck before meeting up with our fellow tailgaters.  This process takes about 20 minutes longer than it should have …needless to say, we are all hurting this morning.  Finally, with 3 bottles of water, 4 aspirin, and one beer in my system I am ready to meet the day face to face. 

We all take it pretty easy during the tailgate because we are all still so messed up from the previous night’s misadventures.  However, by game time (roughly 3 hours after we arrive at the stadium) we are all in high spirits and ready for the game.  The game is pathetic.  The Cowboys are embarrassing and we quickly decide that the only way to salvage the poor playing is to drink more beer…and eat bbq nachos…and drink more beer.

I do not recall much of the ride home from the stadium as I was, again, fast asleep.  Before I know it we are in front of my house and I am saying farewell to the Denver Boys as I stumble out the truck still half asleep.  I wearily make it up the walk and into my house.  I sit with the wife for what seems like an eternity, but was really about a half hour before I throw in the towel.  I finally face the facts that I put up a good fight, but the weekend has conquered me.  My sweet pillow never felt so good.

I learned a couple of things about myself this weekend that I would like to share with you all:

1) I have the best wife in the world!  Thank you for letting me have my sports pouty weekend.  I love you!

2) I have lost my ability to binge drink, at least for multiple days in a row…

3) I am a badass washer player~ no matter how much alcohol I have consumed.

4) The Cowboys suck.

About Generic Dad

Ex break dancing champion turned competitive eating loser. I am into prosthetic limbs, knife throwing, and I am a self-taught magician...I once fought Kimbo Slice to a draw, my belly button is known to seep gravy, which has come in handy on more than one occasion.

Posted on October 12, 2010, in Thoughts on Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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